I need some cheering up =( Just so frustrated. I wish Brad could get a job NOW. Yeah yeah blah blah they all say the time will come BLAH BLAH. I mean what If that time is half a year? UGH. Just want to bang my head against the wall.

GRRR. I also want to see Mom. Christmas will be a year since I’ve last seen her. It would cost us about $200+ between gas, food and etc to go visit her. Also, we managed to get all our bills paid but Brad might have went a little negative in his bank account. Hooray!

I just want to crawl in a hole and hide.

Had a great weekend, what about you guys? Friday night, Brad and I did wind up getting chinese food. I tried the hot & spicy shrimp.. haha. Wrong choice! It wasn’t hot or spicy but very ONION-ish. It was nothing but a few vegetables, little shrimp and TONS of cut up onions. I just picked out the shrimp.. argh. Saturday night, Brad’s friends Alex and Amanda came over and Brad was gonna take us all out to eat @ Red Lobster sooo that’s what we do. Took a while to drive out there. I wind up getting grilled shrimp and mashed potatoes. HAHA They gave me one tiny scoop of potatoes.. atleast the shrimp was good and I ate it all. First time I’ve ate that much in a while. Just wish they would have given me more mashed potatoes! Had a good time though.. then afterwards we were gonna go meet up with another one of Brads friends but he was busy so we went to Wal-Mart to wait around to see If he was gonna be done anytime soon. I think we stayed there like 2 hours. It was after midnight when we left Wal-Mart and Brad’s friend still hadn’t called so we just left and headed back home THEN he called us on the way back and we got to talk to him on the phone.

Got home, took my vitamin, ate a little and Alex and Amanda hung out for a bit then they left and I think I went to bed not too long afterwards. Since yesterday I have felt DRAINED. I’m starving but I also feel very sick at times so It sucks, lol. I’m just waiting for the puke city to start haha. I didn’t eat much yesterday and haven’t eaten much today either. I woke up @ 3AM this morning.. STARVING with a really sick feeling all at the same time so I got up, ate a little goldfish snack and a little piece of these corn flake-mashmellow treats that Brad made yesterday and drank some Sunny D and sat on the couch to see If I would feel a little better. I finally went and laid back down. *sigh* Hopefully I’ll be able to eat a little dinner.. depends on what we’re having. If not then I guess I’ll snack around on this and that when I get home tonight.

YAAAAY, Brad is off Thanksgiving (Thursday) AND FRIDAY, woot! Can’t wait till Wednesday, I’ll be 7 weeks! Our tiny baby is growing, growing!

Ugh – I feel like my feet ARE dragging the floor. I think I might be coming down with something. I hope not but I sure do feel that way today. I’m sitting here eating my dinner. I fixed sweet potatoes, corn and honey bbq chicken wings. Good stuff! Yet my taste buds don’t seem satisfied. Rah.

Pretty slow day. Brad made “oreo delight” yesterday. Basically It’s just oreos and cool whip beat up together. It’s pretty good, espically really cold. We took some over to Brad’s Moms today and watched a LMN movie with her, lol. 😆 It was actually a pretty good movie. Lots of lies and blackmail… OOOoo.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, a week from this coming Thursday! I actually can’t wait! 😀

This whole trying to conceive thing is so draining. Espically when I HOPE HOPE HOPE for it to happen and then each time It doesn’t. It’s now been over a year. Coming up close to being a year since I started my medicine. I go back to the Doctor October 30th so maybe she can figure something else out. I dunno.. sometimes I just want to throw the towel in and say forget it but then again I try to hang on to hope.

In other bad news, yesterday I got a message on Myspace from a girl I know from High School asking If I had heard about my best friend Krista’s daughter. I told her no? Last time I saw Krista and her son + daughter was when Mom moved away in August. Apparently, Anna (her daughter) was taking a nap, vomited and choked to death.. 🙁 I feel so heavy hearted for her. Anna was a beauuuuutiful little baby. Had the cutest little face. Gosh and Krista was big time crazy about her kids so I can’t even imagine how she is feeling right now. I want to call her but I am no good with words when It comes to situations like these. I might attempt even just to show her I care and that I’m there for her even though I just won’t know what to say. I was talking to Mom about it and Mom lost a son – Jimmy when he was only 19 hours old and she said that there isn’t a day that goes by that she doesn’t think of him.

I just hope Krista can make it through okay.

I’m slacking on the blogging again. Haha.

Well, Brad’s job is just ruining him – his back, arms, knees, wrists, hands. Plus he is never happy anymore, always down even though he tries to be in high spirits around me. His job always has him angry, upset, stressed, frustrated and he comes home EVERY DAY exhausted. His way of dealing with his anger from work @ home is to act a little immature and crazy. I can definetly tell when he’s trying to handle the anger from his job by the way he acts. I was trying to be positive yesterday to him about another job but he just snapped on me. Last night we talked it out and I dunno, I just want him to be happy again. It’s really affecting us both because when he’s not happy, I’m not happy either. He said he’d talk to his boss about cutting down some on his workload, he says they are just giving him way way way too much work. I really pray his boss listens to him and gets someone to help him!! Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes me so angry that they can’t atleast give him a partner to help him out! His boss has been “PROMISING” him a partner for a while now but did he ever? Did he ever got through with that? NOPE! Of course that just really upsets Brad… 🙁

Speaking of slacking, I have really been slacking on my exercise. I don’t think I’ve exercised in about a month.. which is bad but I’ve stayed the same weight. Yesterday I did exercise though and I plan to today as well. I’d like to get back into doing it maybe 6/7 days a week and keep going with it and I know I’ll lose lots more weight but gosh stuff always comes up – I get sick, PMS sometimes has me eating more + feeling lazy and not wanting to exercise so I’m gonna try my best. I really want to lose more weight!

Brad also has been stressing about our bills and such. We only have a few bills but my gosh, they add up to a lot! I don’t know what we could eliminate besides our cellphone bill but then I couldn’t call my Mom since we don’t have long distance on our home phone but I guess If we got rid of our cellphones we’d have to turn on long distance coz I have to talk to my Mommy!!!! I suppose we could buy a little less and cheaper groceries but we only get what we need! Ugh, I hate money and bills but don’t we all. UGH.

I just want us to be happy.

I feel AWFUL. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.. but everytime I try to eat/chew, it shoots pain into my ear and the left side of my neck is swollen and my shoulder/top of back hurts too. I called Mom last night and told her and she told me to get Brad to take me to the ER but Brad and his Mom said that the ER would charge us a lot and to wait until Monday.. Mom was NOT happy about that. I told her they would charge a lot and she said, “Well, by the time Monday gets here, It may be a lot more than that if it gets worse” I just want to feel better but I don’t want to have to pay so much to go to the ER.

I wanted to get so much done this weekend. 🙁 Wanted to see about going the beach, wanted to clean up the apartment even more than I usually do. Wanted to possibly go out shopping or something but gosh, I feel so bad I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I took half a pain pill yesterday and Brad was EXHAUSTED from work so we layed down together and took a nap and didn’t get up till 8pm then we went to McDonalds and got something to eat and stayed up till 1AM then went to sleep.

Brad’s gone right now to a big yard sale – his cousin and aunt are there too. I would have gone but I just don’t feel like it.. sigh. I have the other half of the pain pill here by me but I don’t know If I want to take it right now or If I should just take 2 ibprofin. I think I might go back to sleep in a little bit though. I just feel miserable.

I just want this to be over and gone! Well, have a great weekend!

No baby for us this month… oh well.

It’s supposed to be 90 degrees today with a chance of rain I believe.

Can’t wait for my shows tonight! My Name is Earl, The Office, Scrubs and ER! Bones was a great episode last night!

Looks like I’ll just be laying around this weekend with the way I feel. No swimming. Definetly not.

Blah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :yell:

HAHA and I thought Sundays “adventure” to try to get my game was bad.

Today is Tuesday. The official release date of the game I had mentioned in the previous post, Lord of the Rings online: Shadows of Angmar. Brad got off work and a little later he asked me If I wanted to go back up to Wal-Mart to see if they had it. I hesistated… was thinking about waiting until the weekend. I still kindof wish I should have waited. Coz HELLO bad series of events coming our way. So Brad calls one of the Wal-Marts and asks If they have it. They say Yes! And that they had quite a few copies of it! Great!!! We get ready and decided we’d go eat at Taco Bell afterwards YUMMY. Load up and drive drive drive out there. I guess It’s about a.. 25-30 min drive.

Yay we arrive! Go on in and get to the electronics to look at the PC games. Not there. Go to talk to the people in Electronics and they look it up on the computer and sure enough, It should be in but they would have to go find it. Off they go.. we browse the movies and video games waiting. More waiting. Finally, while Brad was off browsing, the woman comes up to me with 2 Lord of the Rings games THAT I’VE ALREADY SEEN BEFORE, that have been on the shelf for months. I really don’t know what to say… I just look baffled. Brad comes up and says that is not the game we are looking for. He was getting really pissed, I could see it with his facial expression. He eventually says “Thank you, goodbye” And walks away hurridly. Yenno after Sunday’s event with this game, I thought to myself, wow someone doesn’t want me to have this game HAHA. But the thing is, they SAID they had it!?!?! He tries to cheer me up but darnit, we took another trip, another wasted trip! Off to Taco Bell we went…

We get our food and sit down to eat. Brad decides to call the Wal-Mart manager and tell him the situation, even If they DON’T have the game atleast they would know about what happened with someone telling us wrong. Ring ring. He gets the DISTRICT Manager, even better! Brad tells him the story and the DM gets one of his guys to go look for it… whaddya know, they JUST FOUND IT. HAHAH. Atleast they weren’t lieing but looks like those other people didn’t look hard enough. Finish eating food and this guy pulls up in the parking lot and is acting WAY STRANGE. Brad said he was a zombie.. :rolleyes: He acted like he was DEFINETLY on something. When he came in he went towards the bathroom slowly and just STARED at both the bathroom doors then turned around and went to the front counter. I’m guessing he couldn’t read English or couldn’t read at all or maybe he couldn’t read properly because what he was on/taking/what he had drunk, who knows. We decided to leave and head back to Wal-Mart… on the way out we see the guy who Brad claims was zombified has a BONE tied onto the front of his car, LOOOOL!! :dizzy: Read the rest of this entry »

I really want to send out my condolences to the people at Virgina Tech who were involved in the shooting this week. I imagine It will take that whole campus a long time to recover. The deadliest shooting in US History.. :worried:

You just NEVER KNOW what people are going to do these days, you just really don’t. The world has become so much more unsafe and tense than It used to be. The places we call safe are becoming very unpredictable. As was the case with Virgina Tech. It seems we have to keep ourselves on full alert because you just never know when something like this is gonna happen and It’s becoming more and moreso these days, which is terrible. 🙁

There are so many sick, messed up people in this world. Most of the time innocent people go down because of people who build their hate, anger, etc or problems up and instead of getting help take it out on whoever they wish.

Our world is turning into such a scary place to live. :blank:

Hm, well this layout is one I made a long time ago and decided to finally use it since I never have! What do you guys think? Bringing back a bit of old style taste. I actually really like it! And what’s not to like about Incubus and BRANDON BOYD! :love: :love: :love:

Well to update on a few things: Brad traded in our van for a 2001 blue Dodge Ram 1500 quad magnum! It’s very very spacious, HUGE and an overall nice truck! He’s just happy to have a truck again hehe. 😎 Um but a NOT so cool thing happened this last Friday… he went to get us food from McDonalds and buy me sunflower seeds from the gas station place and when he came out, his tire was flat! Apparently SOMEONE SLASHED HIS TIRE! Brads Stepdad helped him and the next day they got a new tire. Evil people.. evil evil evil. He filed a police report and I hope they catch whoever did it. Ugh. Brad was furiously upset!

Doc’s appointment: A week from my doc’s appointment I missed the call for the blood results so I called back the next day and the woman said the doc said my hormone levels HAVE IMPROVED and she’s not gonna change the dosage on my meds and to come back in 6 months! WOOO I’m so excited that my medicine is INDEED working… now maybe my chances of concieving are a little better, maybe. :grinny: Speaking of hormones and all, I have been breaking out in pimples like CRAZY lately! I haven’t had this many pimples since High School! It’s insane. I found one on my nose today so I looked like rudolph for a bit. Hahah.

Website: I’ll try to redo the link colors and other colors + update my pages and all that jazz. Hopefully LOL. Sometimes I feel like I’m modivated enough to update things then I get to it and say forget it so we’ll see. I might make the front one point bigger, I dunno yet. I’d like to spruce up the site a little more but again, we’ll see we’ll seeeeee!!! :thumbsup:

Weekend: Well the town where my Mom lives is having their annual Railroad Festival this weekend. Brad and I have went every year since we’ve been together so we might go this year, not sure yet though. It’s supposed to realllly storm bad here Friday night into Saturday so I guess It depends but I’d like to see my Mommmmy!!! :tongue:

Online Job: I’m still working for the online search engine ChaCha but boy have I been slacking lately. :dead: I’ll get up in the morning and get ready to work only to sit there for like 30 minutes.. most of the time nothing happens or I get annoying or stupid searches and wind up saying forget it and closing out. I need more work willpower LOL. Brad said that we’ll use my ChaCha money as saving then when the year is over we’ll get to BUY stuff, yay!

Exercise: Well, I was doing pretty good with my exercise. Was doing like 3 miles a day back in February? Then I’ll get in a funk where I want to do nothing and slack in my exercise and “strict” eating. Right now I’m in major slack mode with the exercise too. Last week I only did a mile a day but I guess It’s better than nothing. Need to push myself to do atleast 2.5 or 3 miles to really get myself back into a good exercise schedule. Oh and my weight? *sigh* I’ve been stuck between gaining and losing the same 5 or so pounds and that sucks big time. Up and down. I hate that I have to fight so much to lose even a little weight. It’s so hard. But atleast I’m doing something instead of nothing!!! Just gotta keep modivated to keep going and pick myself back up into a regular routine.

Brad: Brad’s work has been really tough on him these last few months. I feel so bad sometimes coz I stay at home and he has to work a realllly rough tough job where he gets pushed around by older guys. He comes home almost every day either exhausted, pissed off or both. Sometimes he does have good days but for a while there It was all not good days. And our relationship is still the best! :love: I love him more than anything. I always try to cheer him up after work and talk him through the hard times. I love my sweetie.

Well this is the longest blog I’ve written on here in a long while! LOL. Enjoy it! It’s nearing my bed time (1AM lol) so I’m gonna wrap this up and get ready for SLEEP! Have a great Thursday!!!!!!! :grinny: :happy: 😉